MAKING YOUR WEDDING YOUR OWN
GUEST COUNT & INTIMACY
I’ve spoken to so many couples over the course of nearly 3 years of shooting weddings and I’ve heard the same sentiment over and over again, “I wish we would have downsized our guest list and spent more time with our closest friends and family.”
Downsizing your guest list means that you can keep your wedding more about getting married than “putting on an event” and will help my second shooter and I to photograph the people that mean the most to you rather than the random acquaintances you invited out of obligation.
UNPLUGGED CEREMONY
An “unplugged ceremony” is simply asking your guests to put their phones completely tucked away during the ceremony.
Why you wonder?
Every guest is tempted to take cell phone photos. Your mother, your grandfather, your Aunt Jill who will step in the middle of the aisle during your first kiss, or even a member of your bridal party who we’ve seen Snapchat themselves during the exchanging of vows (it was the worst). And while it’s all good fun, it can be a huge distraction. Without the temptation, your guests will listen, engage, and immerse themselves in the experience that YOU have spent months preparing for and it truly makes ALL the difference.
Although all of our cellphone cameras have gotten better with technology advancements, your grandma’s photography skills haven’t…and we would HATE for any of the sweet moments from your ceremony (i.e. your fiancè having to look around Grandma’s iPad as you walk down the aisle or your mom trying to figure out how to zoom as you wipe away your tears during your vows) to be compromised.
It’s happened and it’s terrible.
Gift yourselves and gift your guests the honor of being present for your beautiful ceremony giving them moments they’ll remember.
So, how do you announce an unplugged ceremony to your guests?
The most common thing I’ve seen is to have your officiant make an announcement before your ceremony begins. Most people find it a really special thing to honor and I’ve never seen anyone complain.
You could also include a few words in your program. Or display a sign at the entrance of the aisle with a request that reads something like, “The greatest gift you can give us today is to be truly present, so please turn off all phones and cameras and enjoy this special moment with us.” It’s just that simple.
MAKE YOUR WEDDING YOURS
Remember that this is your day…and not all, but many of the traditions that take place during weddings aren’t founded in much beyond this general idea of what you’re “supposed to do.”
Think of it this way… how do you celebrate Christmas? I’m sure your family has unique traditions you’ve followed for years…and those traditions are likely different than other families! These traditions your family has celebrated are unique to your upbringing, how you express yourselves as a family, and what makes you feel uniquely connected to the holiday.
This is your wedding and nothing about it has to check any box of doing what you’re supposed to do. Give yourself the freedom to think outside the box and make this day an expression of who you are, where you come from, and the mark you hope to leave on the world through your love.
Here’s a little inspiration to get your creative juices flowing…
Elope or Wedding? (Both!) – Your family wants a big wedding but you want to elope? Guess what…you can do both! Choose a place in the world meaningful to the both of you, bring a few of your closest people, exchange vows, then throw a big party with all of your people on a later date.
Hiring an Officiant (or not!) – You absolutely don’t have to choose a random ordained minister! Choose someone that you love and who has made an impact on your lives…and if they aren’t ordained…well that’s simple. Anyone can follow these steps and get ordained here (https://www.theknot.com/content/friend-officiate-ceremony-how-to). As some who was married by someone who knew my husband and I, and our story it was way more meaningful than someone paid to show up and recite generic wedding vows.
Personal Vows (In Private) – Always wanted to write/read your own vows but not big on crowds? Sneak off for a few minutes before your ceremony to share them with one another in private! We’ll be there to document it of course, but it will give you space to be intimate, emotional, and totally present with one another.
The list goes on… Love ice cream more than cake? Have an ice cream truck! One spouse doesn’t have a mom or dad present for parent dances? Dance with another relative or invite everyone to the dance floor in the parent’s honor or skip the tradition all together! Not into slow dances? Choose instead to swing dance or floss or Dougie for your first dance!
What matters is that you are in the moment, comfortable, and soaking in all the memories between you and your husband/wife. This is your day and you should enjoy single every bit of it.